Flesh of My Flesh (fic; Saiyuki)

[opalmatrix]

Title: Flesh of My Flesh
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: Fluff! Crack! Schmoop! And a semi-technical discussion of mpreg! You have been warned.
Pairing(s): Hakkai/Gojyo
Rating: PG-13 for two guys canoodling in bed and strange biology
Spoilers: bits about Hakkai's and Gojyo's respective families.
Notes: smillaraaq and I were talking about andmydog's two-part Kink Meme fic (Green Thumb) about Hakkai and the plant babies. We were both in agreement that the bit in Part 2 where Hakkai seems pleased that the plants resembled Gojyo in at least one respect was especially charming. That thought grew into this story. smillaraaq did the beta read.
Summary: Gojyo inspires Hakkai to a peculiar flight of fancy.

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Hakkai was thinking.

This wasn't always a pleasant activity - his brain was quite capable of wandering off into dark alleys involving his past, and sometimes even his future - but when he was lying like this, limp and completely relaxed and tangled snugly with Gojyo in their bed, it was hard to think of anything that wasn't enjoyable on some level. Even lists of chores that hadn't been done were spiced with the knowledge that he'd cheated himself - he was his own sternest taskmaster - by taking this time to indulge himself and his best friend with deliciously lascivious activities.

Just now, his head was pillowed on Gojyo's muscular but boney chest, and Gojyo's big, strong heart was sounding strongly right under his ear, beating out a message just for him, drowning out any voices that might try to whisper from the darker crannies of his brain: Live now, love now, live now, love now ... . Their legs were tangled together warmly. Hakkai had one arm draped across Gojyo's chest as well, and he was playing with a strand of crimson hair, lank with sweat at the moment, but still beautiful. How could he have ever felt that this color was sinister?

If we had children, he thought, they would be three quarters youkai. Would they have red hair and eyes, or not?

Of course it was ridiculous. Their lovemaking would never breed anything but pleasure for themselves and disapproving looks from Sanzo. He laughed silently - or so he thought.

"Hmmm? What's funny, baby?"

He felt Gojyo's voice as much as he heard it. The vibration made him feel content and cherished. "Well, I was just thinking ... ."

Gojyo chuckled, a friendly little earthquake under Hakkai's head. "Didn't I tell you that's bad for you? Lookit your temples - thinning already!" Long fingers combed through his hair. "So what's got your brain going this time?"

Hakkai hesitated a moment. "Truthfully, I was wondering whether our children would have your hair and eyes."

Gojyo's hand froze in his hair, like a small animal that thinks it scents a predator. "Umm ... Hakkai. Don't get me wrong - you're really hot and I can always get it up for you. But I am not havin' your baby."

"Aha ha ha ... of course not. The smoking and drinking wouldn't be good for it. I would have to carry our child myself."

"Hakkai ... ! " Gojyo whacked the mattress next his leg, exasperated. "You're a guy! What're you gonna carry the baby in?"

Hakkai sat up halfway and propped his head on his hand. As he expected, Gojyo's face was a delicious mixture of disbelief and outrage. Hakkai smiled calmly and prodded him a little more. "I thought I could try to grow a womb. With my qigong, I can make damaged tissue grow back now. It shouldn't be much harder than that. "

Gojyo was now rubbing his temples as though his head hurt. "But ... when the baby's ready to be born ... how ...?

"Oh, the birth would be by Caesarian section, of course."

Gojyo's healthy tan suddenly looked a little less healthy. He sat up and rolled over, grabbing Hakkai and pressing him down into the mattress, his hair spilling onto Hakkai's face and chest. "Hakkai ... buddy ... tell me you're not gonna mess with yourself like that. What if ... if somethin' went wrong ... ?"

The beautiful ruby irises of Gojyo's long-lashed eyes each had a ring of white all the way around. Hakkai was touched by the concern on his behalf, and a little ashamed of himself - but only a little. He craned his neck to kiss the corner of Gojyo's mouth.

"Well, then ... it was just an idea. You shouldn't worry so much about my post-coital ramblings, Gojyo. I'm liable to say almost anything. You're quite intoxicating sometimes."

Gojyo stared at him for a few seconds, processing that one, and finally smiled back at him. "Heh. I'm so good, I make you drunk?"

"Absolutely."

He felt Gojyo relaxing against and on top of him. The red eyes crinkled at the corners, and he seemed to be flushing slightly as he pressed soft, sloppy kisses from the base of Hakkai's throat up to his mouth. But it was all too gentle, and far too obviously driven by a need for reassurance rather than passion. Well, I have only myself to blame for that, he thought, as he responded in kind. Eventually, Gojyo laid his head on Hakkai's chest and sighed. Hakkai wound his fingers gently in long strands of crimson hair. "Are you falling asleep on me, Gojyo?"

"Uh ... yeah, sorry. " Gojyo rolled over - Hakkai hastily released his hair - and curled up with his back against Hakkai. "There ... now y'can breathe ... ."

Hakkai, bemused, spooned up behind him and draped one arm over his waist. Literal-minded Gojyo. There was no point in trying to explain. His mind drifted off again. He saw a daughter of 12 or so, with Gojyo's crimson hair - long, and in a braid, like Kanan's - and Dokugakuji's blue eyes. She would be motherly, and he would enjoy teaching her to cook. A son, a sturdy lad of 10, with Kanan's honey brown hair and his own green eyes. He would be quietly humorous and protective of his siblings. Another son, a quiet boy of seven who loved animals, and reading; he had Kanan's hazel eyes and Hakkai's deep brown hair. And last, a mischievous sprite of five, with Dokugakuji's inky hair and Gojyo's flaming eyes. She would be feisty, and get into fights defending weaker children.

I can dream, can't I? I have a practiced imagination, after all. Almost every day, I pretend that I never killed a tribe of youkai and half a village, never saw my lover die by her own hand, taking her unborn child with her ... .

He deliberately turned his mind away from those dark thoughts and pressed his mouth to the back of Gojyo's neck, parting his hair to breathe in the comfortingly familiar scent of salt sweat, musk, and that odd little note that made him think of river water. He opened his lips and traced with his tongue the prominent bump of the first large vertebra. Gojyo stirred and his breath made a faint sound almost like a little laugh. Hakkai pulled back a little and blew on the damp skin. Gojyo squirmed and finally swatted at the arm around him.

"Hey, stop ... you're tickling!"

"Mmm hmm," agreed Hakkai. He bit Gojyo's shoulder gently.

"Quit that, you wild man," protested Gojyo, unconvincingly. He grabbed the hand that was resting against his belly and began to kiss each finger individually. "I lied, y'know," he mumbled, suddenly, muffled against Hakkai's palm.

"You lied? About what?"

Gojyo tucked Hakkai's hand under his own chin, hugging the arm that hugged him. "I would have your baby. If I could."

Hakkai stopped breathing for a second. Then: "Would you stop drinking and smoking while you were pregnant?"

There was a long, sleepy pause. "Guess I'd have to, wouldn't I?"

Hakkai was afraid to say anything in the face of this amazing offer from his down-to-earth lover - even though the entire conversation was moonshine anyway.

"You can have the other one," added Gojyo.

"The other one?"

"His brother. Or sister. There oughta be two."

Hakkai moved his hand gently to feel around Gojyo's mouth. Yes, he was smiling. "Not two," said Hakkai. " Four. Two boys and two girls."

The smile slipped for a moment, and Gojyo grabbed his wrist. Then he started laughing, a soft, sleepy chuckle. "Now you're shitting me."

"Mmmm. Well, yes. And you weren't serious, either. But it was nice to hear." Hakkai snaked his other arm under Gojyo so that he could squeeze him, hard.

"Ooof! Damn, you're strong. Now I can't breathe."

Hakkai released him, then sat up and bent over to kiss his mouth, gently. Gojyo's eyelids were sliding shut again. "Good night, Gojyo."

"G'night, gorgeous."

Hakkai snuggled up behind him again, waiting for Gojyo's breathing to settle. His own breath seemed to large for his chest, as though his heart had grown and was taking up too much room. How absurd, to feel so happy about such a silly conversation. And the darkness that had been threatening to crawl out and engulf his thoughts had been blown away entirely. He could almost see it, pulled into streamers and raveled into nothingness, like smoke in a fresh breeze.

You're quite intoxicating sometimes. I'm liable to say almost anything ... .

Hakkai's lips moved, forming words so quietly that he hardly heard them himself:

"I love you, gorgeous."